


A Hotchpotch of Feelings

by Ailec_12



Series: It Happened at the Potters' Cottage [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Child Severus Snape, De-Aged Severus Snape, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, James Potter Lives, Lily Evans Potter Lives, One Shot Collection, POV James Potter, POV Lily Evans Potter, Past Child Abuse, Young Severus Snape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:20:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25400758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailec_12/pseuds/Ailec_12
Summary: Mishmash of vignettes set inHouse Potter for Children in Need: alternative points of view, conversations Severus did not get to witness and scenes that did not fit in the main story.
Relationships: Harry Potter & James Potter & Lily Evans Potter, Harry Potter & Severus Snape, James Potter & Severus Snape, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape
Series: It Happened at the Potters' Cottage [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1839559
Comments: 194
Kudos: 305





	1. The First of Many to Come

**Author's Note:**

> Most of these vignettes will feature Jily (James/Lily) more heavily than _House Potter_. However, these one shots are not required to understand the main story, so don't feel guilty if that is not your cup of tea and would rather skip them.
> 
> That said, several readers asked for some alternative points of view and I finally got around to writing them. This one takes place in [Chapter II: Making it through the Night](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22185070/chapters/53975086).
> 
>  **Coming next:** James's PoV in that scene from Chapter V and James and Lily's conversation after she finds out about Sev's injuries. I'll also add a couple of vignettes from Tumblr. **If there's a scene in _House Potter_ you'd like to read from another point of view, I'd love to know**, although I can't promise beforehand I'll write it. Please, enjoy and let me know what you think!

Lily closed the door after coming in. James was waiting for her on their bed. They sighed almost at the same time.

“You sure they’re asleep?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“I didn’t check in on Severus. You saw how he was looking at us. I didn’t want to risk disturbing him.”

James’s eyes were wide behind his glasses, which he pushed up as Lily sat next to him. Neither of them made a move to get in bed properly.

“So, a spy,” he started. At his insistence, she had offered him some whispered titbits while Severus took a quick shower and put on his pyjamas. “Is he really on our side?”

“That’s what Albus says. You do trust Albus, right?”

He nodded, but his frown deepened. Despite her longing to smooth it with her fingers, the situation they had just found themselves in was far too urgent to get distracted. Once again, the war had found a way to their home, even if Voldemort had not.

“What did he say exactly?”

She took a deep breath and tried to organise her thoughts. The old wizard always talked too much and said too little. She needed to bare the essentials for James —the arguments for the boy to stay with them.

“Severus has been working for Albus since shortly before Harry was born. He was the one to find out about... about Peter,” she hesitated for a second, because Peter’s betrayal had hit his former friends quite hard. When James said nothing, she went on. “To keep his spy status a secret, Severus agreed to report back at fixed times. When he failed to contact for a few days, Albus grew worried and went to his house. Found him like that, hiding in a wardrobe. Severus didn’t recognise him, either.”

She could not help the slight dejection in her voice. When she had opened the door, the Headmaster’s face had shocked her, but it was nothing compared to what she had felt when her eyes fell on the slouched boy next to him. It was the same face she had seen when they had first met, although it seemed to her he was much smaller and thinner. The wariness was not new, but it had never been so permanent when they were alone —Sev had always had a smile for her. She had no idea yet how many other things would look different from her adult perspective.

She shook her head, trying to get rid of those unproductive thoughts.

“Since we’re under the Fidelius and I knew Sev... Severus as a child, Albus thought we’d be the best option. If a Death Eater or You-Know-Who finds him... He’ll be in enough trouble saving his cover once he gets back to his real age.”

She let James have his silence, although she could guess which question would be asked next.

“Did Albus say how long he’ll stay like that?”

Another sigh. She felt as if she had too many thoughts racing through her mind to focus just on one. As hard as she tried, her memory kept coming back to the moment she had opened the door and Albus had introduced Severus to them —back to the look of resignation in his young eyes, not gazing at her twice.

Even so, Severus —actual, grown-up Severus— was on their side and that was enough to make her heart lighter despite the bizarre circumstances. She would no longer have to feel guilty for calling him ‘Sev’ in her head. And, for as long as he was with them, she could call him so out loud, too. His face was every bit as comically outraged in her kitchen as it had been when they were nine. She knew he had grown to appreciate the nickname, though, and hoped it would not be different this time around.

Once again, she made an effort to focus on James’s question.

“He wasn’t sure, said it might revert to normal on its own after a few weeks. Most records they’ve got on de-aging accidents are from situations involving Time-Turners or Unspeakables. Albus said this is probably the result of a potions experiment gone wrong, though. He’s got old Slughorn working on it and promised to send a letter to Nicolas Flamel, too.”

“So, we don’t know how long Snape will stay like this or if he’ll remember anything once he gets back to his age.” Lily offered a nod, because there was not much else to add. “How does he know it’s not a ruse, though? If he retains his memories, he’ll know where we live and that Dumbledore is our Secret Keeper. I trust Albus, but I trusted Peter with my life, too. So did Sirius and Remus. And he turned out to be a sodding follower of You-Know-Who. Now I’m told that, despite taking the Mark as soon as we finished school, Snape is not a Death Eater. What if Albus is wrong?”

She swallowed. James was understandably wary of everyone, but she had no doubts the child was innocent, regardless of everything else. He was just an eight-year-old boy with no clue about what had happened to him.

“Albus can’t be wrong about this. Remember how much he insisted on putting us under the Fidelius after Harry was born? Even if Severus remembers these days later on, he’s a member of the Order. He won’t betray us... me.”

She took his hands in hers, in a vague attempt to assuage their fears.

“He’s got no real proof that Snape isn’t bluffing his way into our home, though.”

At once, her understanding turned into exasperation and she broke the contact.

“Oh, c’mon, James!” she whispered, making an effort not to raise her voice. “Don’t tell me you don’t see the difference. All his reactions to seeing us were wrong. He looked right through me.” The last sentence was uttered more quietly and, even so, her voice faltered.

She felt her eyes sting at the damn memory, but took a deep breath and forced herself to get a grip on her emotions. Once of the many things she loved about James was that she could be as blunt and careless with her words as she wanted without fearing to spark an argument. However, she was too proud to be equally carefree with her tears.

James picked up on her distress nevertheless and his frown relaxed.

“Well, he surely keeps scowling plenty and being stubborn as hell,” he said, quite light-heartedly. It worked, because she forgot her pain long enough to shoot him a glare and he had no problem laughing and admitting defeat. “All right, he didn’t know who I was, either. Actually, it wouldn’t have surprised me if he’d put more of a fight.”

That time, his joking manner worried her a little, as if he had truly failed to notice Severus’ fear and wariness, too silent to belong in a child.

“James, you’ve got to promise me you’ll cut him some slack. He doesn’t remember anything and he must be scared stiff of being surrounded by strangers.”

“Are you saying I should let him talk to me like the insolent prick he is?”

Lily was about to roll her eyes at his exaggeration, but she remembered a boy that always wore too-big clothes and sometimes a bruise or two —always from a nasty fall, according to him. She remembered lying down on the grass while that boy assured her that being Muggle-born made no difference.

The current bruises on his face came to mind suddenly. He had looked so hungry and weary that she had not really thought beyond offering food and a bed, but she would check his injuries first thing in the morning. She would not fail Severus again.

Her semblance darkened. She had to decide how much to tell —after all, it was not her secret.

“He... Severus didn’t have a good home life. His guard’s going to be up high. Just... be careful. Don’t frighten him further.”

James huffed, like he ended up doing every time they discussed Severus.

“I’m not going to cuddle the brat so he can hold it against me once they fix him up.” There was a note of disgust in his voice that had Lily pursing her lips, but she refrained from interrupting. “Sirius grew up with an abusive piece of shit for a mother and didn’t turn into a complete arsehole, you know.”

“Sirius can be an arsehole when he doesn’t like someone and _you_ know it,” was her quick retort.

“Fine. At least he didn’t turn to the Dark Arts.”

She could not help it, she saw red. As if she needed any reminders that Severus had chosen the Death Eaters over her.

“At least he had more than a single friend to defend him. D’you think it doesn’t hurt _me_? He was my best friend and, for seven years, I saw him socialise with people who’d love to see me dead just because of my birth. So yeah, I’m happy to learn he’s been fighting on our side for months. Everyone deserves a second chance, you said that to me.”

She was breathing heavily by the end of her tirade, but at least she had managed to keep her voice low. Not waking up Harry was truly a great motivation.

Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply. When she opened them, James was looking at her with regret all over his handsome face.

“Merlin, I didn’t mean... Of course you’d... I’m sorry, love.”

He took her hand hesitantly and, when she did not reject his touch, he scooted closer and caressed her back. At once, the tension in her shoulders began to fade away and she leant against him —a silent acceptance of his apology.

“Look, this isn’t about Sirius. It’s not even about the Severus I used to know,” she started softly. “This is about the boy across the corridor and I only ask you to be patient if he hasn’t got the best attitude.”

Judging by the way he let out a sharp breath, Lily knew he had just bitten back a resigned sigh. Nevertheless, he acquiesced with a nod. For a moment, they stayed like that —James drawing paths on her back while they both drank in each other’s solid, comforting presence. Eventually, though, he could not take any more silence.

“Knut for your thoughts?”

“Mm, yes,” she said, forcing herself to break the sweet moment and sit up. “Albus gave me something for you and I’ve just thought of the best way to put it to use.”

That caught his attention, even if his only response was a nonchalant ‘Oh?’ She nodded, smirking slightly, and got up to retrieve it from a drawer. It was a strange fluid-like silvery object, but James recognised it right away.

“My cloak!” he exclaimed, jumping to his feet and running to her.

She shushed him, lest he woke up the children, but could not help giggling at his obvious enthusiasm. She gave it to him and he wasted no time in unfolding it and trying it on, as if he was afraid it could have shrunk over the past few months. Somehow, his floating head was not quite so disturbing a vision as it had once been.

“How are you telling me only now?” he asked, still looking at his cloak in unmistakable awe. His glasses had become crooked with the movement and Lily adjusted them, feeling a soft smile stretch her lips.

“Well, first, I don’t think it’s something you’d like adult Severus to know about. Second,” she said, lowering her voice to a husky murmur and getting on her toes to surround his neck with her arms, “perhaps I didn’t want to risk you disappearing on me.”

Her smile widened as she closed the distance between their mouths. She was planning on delivering a quick peck and made him chase her for another one, but he hugged her waist and, as soon as their lips met, he opened his mouth and any plans that involved waiting were immediately forgotten. James discarded his cloak to move more freely and they kissed for a while, hungrily, lovingly, until they ended up back on their bed.

The moment they stopped to breathe and get lost in each other’s gaze, Lily came back to reality. It was a rather hard crash.

“So, um, your cloak,” she cut in, awkwardly.

She could see where that was going and knew she would forget to tell him before falling asleep. In the morning, they might not get to discuss it, either, because she could not guess what time Sev would wake up. No matter how much she wanted James at the moment, they were not done with their chat yet.

“What d’you need?” His voice was raspy and he looked as if he also had trouble remembering the topic at hand. Suddenly, a grin showed up on his face. “I guess scaring the living daylights out of Snape is off limits, right?” Instead of deigning to answer, she punched him in the arm for daring say such a thing and for ruining her good mood. “Ow! Only joking.”

“He needs clothes,” she stated, matter-of-factly. “He’s brought a bag with him, but if the rest of his wardrobe is as deplorable as what he was wearing, some nice clothes may help him feel more at ease. You could go out and buy them. No funny business, James.”

He rolled his eyes.

“Ye of little faith. I’m not about to get him a pink tutu. I won’t even buy anything too colourful, in case he tries to glare me to death.”

She shot him another look, but had to admit that plain clothing was probably a safer bet. Severus had seemed content enough with James’s shrunk pyjamas, even though it was one of those her husband called ‘his boring, grown-up Muggle stuff.’ James did not mind donning Muggle clothing, likely influenced by Sirius, and it was always more useful than Wizarding robes if they had to run away.

“Muggle items, of course,” she reminded him, though, in case he was tempted to _Apparate_ and visit Diagon Alley. Right then, she realised she was nervous at the prospect of his leaving the house. She tried not to bite her lip and kept talking to stop listening to her own thoughts. “There’ll be fewer risks of encountering Death Eaters or spies if you stay in the Muggle world.”

“Wait. Why are you letting _me_ go?” he said suddenly. He sounded almost suspicious and Lily raised an eyebrow to conceal her amusement.

“Do you want to stay alone with Severus on his first day?”

When he shook his head forcefully in mock horror, she could no longer stop herself from bursting into laughter, as quietly as possible. As she calmed down, he kissed her full on the mouth, pushing her down on the bed. She was still smiling in their kiss and, when James started peppering little kisses along her jaw, she closed her eyes to fully enjoy the feeling. In their blind impatience, they began to take off each other’s nightclothes.

He was still fumbling with the buttons of her pyjama t-shirt when loud sobs broke them out of their frenzy at once. Knowing the moment was over —again—, James let himself fall on top of Lily as they both let out another long sigh. She made a move to sit up, but he shook his head and gave her one last kiss. Then, getting up, he straightened his clothes and left the room.

Their son did often have the best timing.


	2. Wreaking Havoc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not a new chapter of _House Potter_ , but I hope you'll enjoy another alternative point of view. This one takes place in [Chapter V: Homework and a Shower](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22185070/chapters/55581166). I have the next three one shots already written —I just need to look them over—, so they should be posted soon. Thank you for reading and don't forget to leave a comment!

“Behave,” Lily had whispered in his ear while he could still taste her lips. Her warning was as smooth as silk. “Or I’ll make a Bambi out of you.”

Sirius and he had often been puzzled by her Muggle references and she had relished their lack of knowledge in the first years of their acquaintance. Bambi had been included after his confession that he was an illegal Animagus. Since James did not fancy spending the evening as a helpless fawn, he resolved to focus on Harry —adorable, precious Harry— and avoid giving Snape any reasons to throw a temper tantrum.

Not that Snape was hell-bent on wreaking havoc on their home as James had feared at the beginning. The brat did have a nasty habit of either glowering or not making eye contact and did not hesitate to snap at the slightest perceived offence. However, most of the time, he kept quiet and out of the way.

That afternoon, Snape had come downstairs wearing a horrid mishmash of clothes, even worse than his outfit the previous night. James had wanted to roll his eyes at the ridiculously defiant stare he had shot at Lily. The boy had not said a word, but he knew damn well what he was doing. Fortunately, his wife offered no comments on it. Otherwise, Snape would surely have thrown a fit. She coddled him too much, but it was not something in which James wanted to meddle. He hoped it would be over sooner rather than later, so he could stop seeing the little bastard every day. Each scowl was an uncanny reminder of the unpleasant boy that had become a Death Eater to no one’s surprise. At least, since he had his big nose buried in his book, they did not actually have to look at each other.

It was a long while before Snape spoke. His demanding voice startled James when it asked the meaning of an awkwardly pronounced word. James willed himself to remain calm while his answer was doubted and he tried to figure out what Snape meant. Apparently, the brat thought he was a Legilimens and could read his thoughts. At last, Snape started to read a passage out loud. He did so slowly —not in the mocking drawl he used at school, but in a manner that clearly showed insecurity. It was curious, because James had always assumed Snape had been a bookworm all his life.

The man caught on to the meaning of the word fast and failed to realise he was cutting off the reading as he answered. He also sounded more engaged than he had intended, as if he were addressing a regular child and not a soon-to-be-adult who may or may not remember everything.

However, he had no time to reflect on all the implications of Snape retaining those memories, because Harry touched his face and gurgled. His glasses got a new stain and he looked away from Snape. He thought the boy might have whispered something else, but it could just be the rustling of pages or simply not important enough to merit repetition.

A few other questions were asked and answered while James tried to keep Harry entertained. He wished he could provide better stimulation for his son, a walk on the park, waving at passing acquaintances. The future worried him more than he let on. He would never have thought the war would drag on so long and they could not stay in that situation forever. He tried to focus on Harry, on the television, but it was Snape’s random questions what truly managed to take his mind off things. The irony did not escape James.

At last, it was time to get ready for dinner and he sent the older boy upstairs to wash up. Despite being mostly clean now, his hair was still as greasy as ever. James definitely did not envy Lily if she ever intended to have a little chat about it.

“I wanna finish,” came the quick whine. It sounded too childish to belong in Snape’s sullen voice.

The boy passed some pages and his scowl deepened. James smirked, amused. For a second, he actually wished Snape would keep his memories after the ordeal was over. The bloody bastard would be utterly embarrassed when he remembered he could not win an argument against James about _bathing_.

“I thought so. Off you go. You can finish after dinner.” He had to make no effort to keep his tone light that time.

His amusement vanished promptly when the brat started raising his voice. Of course Snape would complain about showering every day. He could hear Harry whimper —a reminder not to respond in kind.

“Keep it down and quit being a brat, Snape,” he snapped back. Snape may be used to getting his way, but James was not about to entertain an argument about every little thing. “If I say you need a bath, you do. Upstairs, now.”

There was no sign that announced what came except for the noise of a book slamming the table.

“No!”

Harry’s whimpers turned into scared sobs and Snape got up, round-eyed as if he had just realised he had messed up. What did he think would happen when one shouted in front of a toddler?

“Bloody great,” James muttered, taking Harry to calm him down. He tried to keep his own temper in check when he glared at Snape and warned him to be quiet. He would let Lily deal with the lecture, for he did not trust himself not to yell at the prat.

His determination proved to be worthless, since Snape was even more set on being his stubborn, nasty self.

“Like I care! I ain’t gotta do nothing you say! I don’t fucking care ‘bout your stupid rules and your stupid baby.”

Absent-mindedly, James was shocked to hear such a tiny brat mouthing off that way, wondering once again how Lily had ever befriended him.

Harry broke into louder wails and his distress tugged at James’s heartstrings. He would march Snape to the bathroom, because the brat was apparently unable to reason that taking a shower was no punishment and being asked to lower his voice was not just for giggles, either. He let Harry down in his cot, frustrated for having to choose between dealing with Snape and comforting his son. He felt his restraint snap as he turned towards the brat, who was not looking at him, but around, as if searching for a way out. It seemed his bad temper had abandoned him.

“Language, you git!” His own words propelled James forward. “I’ll not say it again. Go take a shower and make sure you wash your hair, too. It could use some shampoo. Quit the pity show while you’re at it and put on some bloody decent clothes.”

Despite meaning everything he had said, the words tasted harsh in his tongue, far harsher than when they echoed in his mind as pint-sized Snape scowled or when he had thrown them at Hogwarts. The feeling brought him back to reality and he noticed other things beyond his own annoyance and Harry’s cries.

Snape’s eyes were darting everywhere, but not in the calculated manner James was familiar with. His face was red, his eyes wide open and he was desperately looking for an escape route. He was scared. He was not wary or defiant or planning anything. He was plainly scared and the only thing in the room James could think of that would cause that reaction was James himself.

He halted his stride, unsure whether manhandling Snape was the wisest course of action at the moment. He had promised Lily he would not scare the brat and he had meant it. Just a minute ago, Snape had been insulting him at the top of his lungs, so it had never crossed James’s mind that answering in the same tone could be perceived as menacing.

Black eyes met his gaze all of a sudden and another expression showed up on the boy’s face for a split second.

“Sod off!” Snape yelled in a high-pitched voice.

James had no time to feel cross. A strong crack cut in their exchange like a bolt of lightning in a clear night. The boy paled considerably, looking from the table to James, as if he could not fathom what had happened. Then, he ran.

The second that took James to process that Snape was running towards the front door, intending to escape, was almost a second too long. He summoned his wand in silence, fumbling a bit to adjust his grip on it as he pointed it at the door. He breathed a word and made it impossible for Snape to open it, even if he tried with all his might.

The boy turned around after a few unsuccessful attempts. For a moment, as those inscrutable eyes trained on him, James was sure that Snape would launch himself forward like a mad hippogriff for daring stand in his way. He was about to utter some calming words when the impossible happened. Snape crouched down and wrapped his thin arms around himself in a feeble attempt to protect his body. The defensive posture was unmistakable. All thoughts left James, who stood there, watching the overreacting child, listening to his loud breathing. He could not tell how long it was until Lily interrupted them. Her question was distraction enough for Snape to get away. She called after him, but James let him run upstairs, since he was likely retreating to his room.

“James? What the hell did you do?”

He blinked at her and tried to remember everything that had led to that very unexpected outcome.

“Nothing!” he hurried to defend himself. Harry was still crying a bit, but was quickly calming down in his mother’s arms. Sighing, James ran a hand across his hair. “Well, I sent Snape to take a shower and he tried to fight it, ended up slamming a book on the table. Harry got scared and started bawling. I... I may have got a tad shirty. I lost my temper, okay? Snape did accidental magic, but kept yelling at me, so I didn’t think it was that bloody bad. He tried to run away through the door and I barely managed to spell it shut. Then, he... Well, he cowered from me, as if expecting me to... I mean, he might’ve just thought I was angrier than I actually was and, and...”

He was prevented from continuing his babbling when he saw her expression turn sad. He had scared the brat enough to make him think he was going to be hit. James messed up his hair a bit more, looking away.

“I’ll go talk to him,” she offered in a soft whisper. “Take Harry.”

He accepted the toddler easily. His little, round face was still red and his eyes were wet. James summoned a handkerchief and cleaned the tears and the snot, letting out a very long sigh when Lily disappeared.

“I didn’t take long to bugger everything up, did I?” He caressed his son’s face and Harry promptly grabbed his hand. “Sure, it’s not the first time I've seen Snape scared, but I never thought... It’s just different. I don’t understand, I didn’t threaten him or anything.”

“Daddy?” Harry piped up. James smiled in response, feeling exhausted.

Yet, as much as he had been determined to let Lily deal with Snape, if he had truly frightened the boy, he had to be the one to convince him he was not about to strike a child —even if he got on James’s nerves, which would undoubtedly happen again. Resigning himself to his fate, he marched upstairs.

“Let’s see Mummy, eh?” At least, he managed to lift Harry’s mood, which was as easy as making a big show of blowing raspberry kisses all over him.

By the time they reached Snape’s room, Lily was still staring at a closed door. James made an effort to push away the feeling that rose when he saw the blatant show of disrespect. A boy’s petulance was the least of their worries at the moment.

Lily shook her head dejectedly as he came closer.

“I’ll talk to him. It was my fault anyway,” James whispered. She bit her lip.

“You sure? What are you going to tell him?”

“That he’s safe,” James decided at once, because that was the reason Snape had been brought to their home.

Lily gave him a faint smile and took Harry back. She nodded and, a moment later, he was the one facing a shut door.

“Snape, open up. We’ve got to talk,” he said as he knocked.

He could not pretend to be soothing like Lily when just seeing his grim little face made him feel irritated, but he could try his best to be fair. Snape had to understand there were boundaries while he was in their care, but he should not have to be afraid to behave himself.

James waited, but there was no answer. He buried his annoyance and knocked again. Somehow, he knew no one would reply no matter how much he knocked. Taking a page out of his mother’s book —he also ignored the sudden pang at the thought—, he decided to announce his entrance instead.

“I’m coming in.”

‘Here goes nothing,’ he thought as he turned the knob, paying no attention to the light dread gathering in the pit of his stomach.


	3. Friendly Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in [Chapter VIII: Sweet Dreams](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22185070/chapters/57556015#workskin). Lily finds out Sev's injuries in the morning and this conversation takes place that very night.
> 
> I originally wrote it on my phone while I was working on the chapter to understand better how James would react afterwards with Severus, so it was just dialogue —kudos to mariagvogel, who contributed a lot to it! I've added some detail to make it clearer and changed all the verbs to the past tense, but you may note the narration is more straightforward than usual. Let me know if there are any mistakes, I edited it in a rush.

"We need to talk," said Lily.

"We do," he agreed, frowning.

It had been a bad sign when they had gone to sleep the previous night without talking, but James could not bring himself to apologise for yelling at Snape when it was their son who had been on the floor crying. His pride had hoped that Lily would start the conversation, so that they could reach some sort of compromise and leave their angry feelings behind. However, now that it was finally happening, he became aware of all the things that could go wrong.

In a way, they did. Their tempers flared up.

"What the hell were you thinking yesterday? I thought we'd agreed you'd cut him some slack."

"I told the brat I wasn't gonna hurt him! I didn't even touch him! He was clearly just looking for pity, because you cut him enough slack for both of us. It was Harry, Lils, it was our son–"

"I think I know who Harry is, thank you very much," she cut him off at once, cold as ice.

"Yeah? Well, you seem to have forgotten who the brat is."

Lily looked ready to throttle him, but her answer came out surprisingly even.

"Maybe I'm having trouble keeping track of who the brat really is."

James was about to repay her sarcasm in kind, but he clamped his mouth shut at the last second. It was starting to sound like the kind of argument they would have had in the corridors of Hogwarts, but they could no longer afford being those adolescents. He knew he had acted like a bloody twat by not attempting to fix the situation earlier and they still had an important matter they needed to discuss.

"Okay, let's say I'm a brat. That doesn't change the fact that it's not a good idea to leave Harry alone with —with Snape."

"He didn't do anything to him! Harry fell. It could’ve happened with either of us. You are just blaming him because, because—"

"Because he's a Death Eater?" he finished, unimpressed.

"That's exactly it. He's not a Death Eater. He's a child, James. You're waiting for him to snap back, but he's not that person. He's not even a man."

'He seems to snap plenty,' James wanted to retort, but he bit his tongue. He was never going to win that game with Lily and he would rather avoid getting sidetracked again.

"We... The truth is that we don't know who he is. You think he's your childhood friend, but he doesn't even know you. And don't tell me again about how his life used to be horrible. That shouldn’t be an excuse to dabble in the Dark Arts."

“Don’t.” In just one syllable, her voice went from firm to strangled.

Right away, something seemed to change in her eyes and she looked away. Anything that could make her deflate so quickly in the middle of an argument would alarm James. Before he could ask, though, she sat on the bed and turned back to him, patting the spot next to her. Gingerly, he joined her.

"I... Today, I found..."

Lily was rarely so openly vulnerable, so James racked his brains searching for what may have got her like that. She took a deep breath and tried again.

"He's really hurt. Severus, I mean. He's been hurt since he came here and I didn't even notice. I saw the marks. I mean... I knew... I think I knew, but..."

All of a sudden, a sob cut her off and she covered her mouth as if she could stop them. Yet, it was only the beginning and James did not hesitate to gather her in his arms. He had no idea what was happening, but it did not matter.

"What marks? What d'you mean, really hurt? He seemed fine after you healed his face," he said, still startled.

"I mean _really_ hurt, James. Old scars all over his back, open wounds. And not only on his back. They were—" A new sob interrupted her and she inhaled jaggedly before continuing to force the words out of her mouth. "They were getting infected, but he didn't say anything. I guess... a belt, among other stuff. But I can't imagine—" She shook her head, unable to find the words. When she spoke again, her voice was barely a whisper. "Fuck, James, he’s got two cracked ribs. And I didn't notice. I didn't know. I never knew."

The last sentence made him think she was not just referring to the present situation, but he was too overwhelmed by everything else to give it much thought.

Scars. Open wounds. Two cracked ribs. Infection. It was too much and yet, only one thing left his mouth.

"With a belt? You mean... You mean someone did that to him?"

It could not be. He had insisted the bruises on his face must have been from some fight with other children. That would fit Snivellus, always ready to resort to violence. Serious injuries, however, meant a helplessness he would rather not think about.

With a belt. It had not been his mother, then. A witch would use magic to punish her son. Padfoot’s did. His father, then. Snape had been a half-blood.

Lily was nodding against his chest, but she said nothing. For a few minutes, there was only silence in the room and something like a roaring tsunami inside James’s head. Finally, she got hold of her emotions and dried her tear tracks. She seemed reluctant to get away from him, but eventually she sat up, too.

“His father was always... awful to him. He hated magic. Severus didn’t like talking about it, though, and I never imagined... When he’d complain about his home life, I’d complain about Tuney. It never crossed my mind he was being abused. We were children. I don’t think I could’ve even understood what abuse really meant. When we got older, I started suspecting it, but by then Sev was even more reluctant to talk about it, so I always left it alone. But I knew, James, I knew and I never checked him for more injuries. I just took his word for it and he’s been in pain for days and—”

“Lily. Lily, love, stop,” James cut off her rant, a touch desperate. “You didn’t know. The br— The lad hasn’t given any signs he was in pain. We couldn’t know it was so bad. The important thing is that you found out about it, so we’ll watch him more closely from now on.” He lifted his arms in mock surrender when Lily looked up sharply. “I don’t mean it like that and you know it. I still think we shouldn’t leave him alone with Harry, but perhaps they just need to get used to each other first.”

Lily let out another sigh and buried her head in her hands.

“Maybe we’re just not cut out for this, but there’s no one else I’d trust to take care of him.”

Seeing her so hopeless made James willing to promise anything. And so, he did.

“I’ll try harder, okay? It’s not like I’m proud that the little punk is afraid of me,” he confessed, rubbing his neck so as to avoid looking at Lily.

“Can we just go to sleep?” she asked after a moment in a quiet whisper.

James felt the need to run, too. He nodded and they both got in bed without a word. Only when they were already lying down, each on their own side, did Lily voice another concern.

“Do you think Albus will get him back to normal? He hasn’t sent word yet.”

He thought about it, but had no answer. He had actually wondered the same.

“Do you want him to be turned back to normal?” he dared ask after steeling himself for the possible answer.

There was a very loud silence, broken a few seconds later by the rustling of sheets when Lily turned away for him. She never replied, so James was left alone with his obnoxious thoughts once again.


	4. Pats on the Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on [Tumblr](https://ailec-12.tumblr.com/post/621337789367205888/number-3-for-house-potter-would-be-neat#disqus_thread). Also written on my phone —hence the present tense. I've decided to leave it like that because many of you have probably read it already. This scene doesn't really fit in the main story, but it could have happened a little further into the future from the point we are at right now.

Harry’s molars are coming out and Lily is having trouble getting him to sleep. She must have been upstairs for over an hour, Severus reckons. He finished his schoolwork long ago. He is terribly bored.

James went into the kitchen just a few minutes ago —Severus is not sure whether he is fed up with Harry for a change or someone had to make dinner and he volunteered himself. The boy peeks at the doorway, but he cannot see anything from where he is.

He hesitates.

James is bound to be in a sour mood, so the safest bet would be to stay low and quiet. And yet, the boy still fears somewhat that they will suddenly become annoyed with him because he is not helping around the house. Making a snap decision, he gets up and slowly makes his way towards the kitchen.

Indeed, James is making supper, slightly humming to himself and, apparently, content enough. In that quiet instant, he does not look so threatening. Severus wonders when such a bizarre picture stopped looking wildly out of place. Still, he is unable to gather up enough courage to disturb the moment. It does not matter, because James spots him first.

The man is surprised to see him, but his mood does not change right away. Severus tries to convince himself that it is a good sign.

“Hey, need something?”

“Can I… Can I help?”

The man’s eyes become slightly wider.

“Um… sure. Of course. You sure everything’s fine, though?”

Severus nods, feeling his cheeks heat up. He knows it must look strange, since he avoids interacting with James any more than necessary.

“Okay, um… D'you want to wash up the stuff for the salad?”

Well, it is not a daunting task and he tries to get rid of some tension in his shoulders.

“I can cut ‘em up, too.” Right away, he is met with a dubious look and, for a moment, a scowl overcomes his fear. “I can!” he protests.

James rolls his eyes, but hands him the bowl and points to the vegetables and the cutting board.

“Whatever, lad. Be careful.”

Severus is thorough in his task while James stirs a pot. It smells wonderfully and, for several minutes, there are no sounds but their cooking. Sometimes, James will glance in his direction, as if to make sure he has not messed up. Severus also keeps the man in his field of vision, but neither says a word.

Sooner than he would have wished, he is finished, so it is time for James to check what he is done. His mother has taught him to cut ingredients in the exact shape the potion needs and, when his father is nowhere around, he helps her around the kitchen, too. His mother would never set a trap for him, though. Who knows what James will do.

James walks up to him and his hand reaches out. Instinctively, Severus flinches, but is not fast enough to get out of the way in time. Yet, instead of a cuff for his sloppy work, all he feels are a couple of soft taps on his shoulder blade. James looks down at him, but does not comment on his hunched position. The boy hurries to straighten back up and look the man in the eye.

“Nice work. Really shows the potions training, huh?”

It is Severus’s turn to be taken aback. He keeps staring in a —failed— attempt to figure out what is actually going on. He can still feel a tingling warmth in the spot where the hand rested for just a second, but James does not seem to notice. He turns to the countertop and starts dressing the salad as if Severus was not gaping stupidly next to him.

The boy waits for the inevitable derisive comment, but nothing happens. When James is done and turns to him, Severus tries to pretend he has not just been staring for several minutes. That would be insolence, he knows it well, and not really worth getting punished for if James is happy with his work.

“Could you please take this to the table and tell Lily supper’s ready? Remember to keep your voice low.”

He nods, a whole lot more energetic now, and wastes no time in getting out of the kitchen with the salad bowl.


	5. Sitting on Someone's Lap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on [Tumblr](https://ailec-12.tumblr.com/post/621805067289427968/14-for-house-potter-love-the-previous-drabble#disqus_thread). It doesn't really fit in the actual timeline of the fic, either, but I think it could perfectly happen around the time of the latest chapter.
> 
> Well, this is all I've written so far. Friendly reminder that, **if there's a scene in _House Potter_ you'd like to read from another point of view, I'd love to know**, although I can't promise beforehand I'll write it. Now I'm back to focusing on the main story. Thanks to everyone for their patience and support!

Harry is a very nice lad, in James's maybe-a-bit biased opinion. He cries little and is quick to calm down, eats without a fuss, takes his naps like a boss. He trusts easily and does not hesitate to seek out other people's company. He gets his softness from Lily and James hopes he will also inherit his mother's fierce spirit when he is older. So far, James is watching his own recklessness reflected in his toddler as Harry tries to jump off his lap head first.

"Careful there." On impulse, he kisses Harry's unruly mop of black hair as he lifts him and places him down on the grass of the garden room.

Padfoot is completely right. He has turned into a sentimental dunderhead since Harry came into his life —but then again, so has his old mate. Moony, too, but he has always been a bit mushy anyway.

As usual, Snape is subtly watching his every move. James may notice it less often if he had not come to expect it. He bites back a sigh. Lily, asleep next to him on their picnic blanket, is blissfully oblivious.

Harry wastes no time in crawling towards the other child, though Merlin knows why. Snape barely pays him any attention and, whenever they are together, he remains tense as a bowstring. Like right now, when his black eyes have shifted from James to the toddler coming for him. It is hilarious —and odd— that his expression has grown more alarmed. James makes a mental note to talk to Lily about it later.

She is the one who has convinced Snape to give a chance to Harry's building blocks. The boy has scowled, saying he is not a child, something James has also become used to. However, it seems no one can resist Lily's charms. Whenever Snape was not watching James, he has been tentatively playing with the blocks.

Snape has always acted strangely, but right now it is downright unnatural how he does not seem to know to behave like a regular eight-year-old. James wonders if the abuse Pads suffered would be equally obvious if he could also witness the consequences as an adult.

Shaking off these thoughts, James focuses his attention on the scene in front of him. Harry has promptly claimed one of the blocks in Snape's structure and, as a result, half of it has come down, floating around the children. James does sigh this time, steeling for Snape's outburst. It does not come. In fact, the older boy pushes the blocks towards Harry.

Ah, there it is the look again. Snape stares at James for a fleeting moment and the man feels irritation clenching his jaw. He relaxes it at once, pushing down the feeling. If he scares the little brat again, Lily is going to have his head. Also, he does not enjoy freaking out Snape, even less so since they found out the real extent of his abuse. He cannot help thinking of Harry every time. How can an adult do that to a child? To _their_ child? Once again, he vows no harm is ever going to come to Harry. His son will be protected and loved and will only know of the war through his uncles' stories.

Harry's shouting breaks his train of thought this time. Despite being an easily distracted child, he hates playing alone, so it is not surprising he is trying to get Snape's attention despite the latter’s reluctance. Snape has his knees up to his chest and his chin resting on them. He keeps staring at Harry, making no move to join him. James decides to watch the situation unfold rather than intervene —something that has not changed is Snape's willingness to pick up a fight with him.

Harry takes another block and hands it out to Snape, who looks at it blankly. When the toddler starts chanting his name, James cannot help an amused smirk. His son decides to take action and crawls towards Snape, boldly climbing on his lap as soon as the older boy must uncurl to step back. Although Snape's panic is utterly ridiculous, James sobers up quickly. He still does not understand what crosses Snape's mind at moments like these and he is afraid Harry will somehow get hurt.

It is obvious Snape has no clue what to do with an excited toddler on his lap. His eyes snap up again, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. James points with his chin to the blocks, trying to encourage him to play —for the umpteenth time, the thought that this is now his life crosses his mind. It does not work.

Snape looks at Harry, who has not stopped trying to get his attention. The chubby little hands are on his face and Snape grimaces.

"Go back to your things. I don't wanna play."

He tries to pry Harry off, but for someone who has no experience with handling babies it is an impossible task. Harry only clings onto him tighter, seemingly thinking it is a very funny game.

"Stop, leave me alone!"

The hushed whine compels James to act unless he wants to see someone cry —and wake Lily up. He gets to his feet and, right away, Snape freezes, as if unable to decide whether to attempt harder to get away from Harry or to pretend he has never tried in the first place. In the end, the boy does not move, does not react to Harry trying to force the blocks into his hands. When James sweeps his son up, Snape leans back and one of the blocks falls from Harry’s grasp.

“C’mon, Harry, stop bothering Snape. It’s clear he doesn’t know what to do with you.”

Instead of going back to the blanket, he sits down near the blocks. The baby looks up at him with wide eyes and puts the toy in his mouth. James takes it away and offers his hand. With the other one, he draws his wand, consciously not gazing at Snape, and makes the blocks build a castle. That should hold Harry’s attention for a bit longer.

Indeed, the lad climbs off his lap right away and crawls inside the castle, using the magically reinforced walls to stand up. When he looks at the side, Snape has gone back to his defensive position and is glaring ahead of him. James’s temper rises again.

"No need to look at him like that," he snaps. "He only wants to play with you."

Snape turns to look at him and glares harder.

"I don't wanna play with him! You can't make me."

As if he had even encouraged Harry to seek out Snape’s company. He can understand that, for an eight-year-old, playing with a toddler is not the most fun activity to do, but the subsequent drama is unwarranted. And, in any case, he is not going to let anyone look daggers at his son.

Yet, he rolls his eyes, as if it did not bother him much.

"Wasn't planning to."

Suddenly, there is a crack in Snape’s haughty demeanour. It comes with almost no warning, but it has happened before and James is learning to read the tiny signs. The boy jumps to his feet and takes a step back. When he speaks, there is a catch in his high-pitched voice.

"It's not my fault!"

James has no clue what he is referring to. The only thing the boy has been blamed for is his glaring and that is actually very much his fault. Still, there is no need for these hysterics, so James lifts his hands and speaks calmly in an attempt to appease him.

"I didn't say–"

"I didn't do anything! It's _not_ my fault! I– I didn't mean to..."

His outburst deflates as soon as it has appeared. Snape hugs himself, eyes fixed on the ground, and it is indeed a sorry sight. Before James can decide how to fix this, he hears Lily walking towards them.

“What’s going on?” she asks, worry replacing any peace she may have managed to get with her nap.

“Harry wanted to play with him and it seems it’s upset him,” James replies, not wanting to make much of it.

Of course, it has the opposite effect on Snape.

“It didn’t! I’m not a baby!”

Actual tears in his eyes give away the truth, though, and James is immensely relieved when Lily steps forward and kneels next to the boy. She whispers something that has Snape nodding and, then, James hears a choked breath and has to look away. Snape would not want him to witness it anyway. Fortunately, Harry, who does not mind being a baby, sees this as the perfect chance to play with his father, hence distracting James from feeling like a coward.


	6. Petting Mrs Plump

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, I'm still alive! I've decided to get back in the writing mood by working on some prompts from my 100 followers celebration on Tumblr. Boudahmim [asked](https://ailec-12.tumblr.com/post/640680370238619648/james-reacting-in-a-positive-way-to-mrs-plump) for "James reacting in a positive way to Mrs Plump being pals with cute Sev." No idea where in the timeline this could happen, only that we aren't quite there yet.
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy it and let me know what you think!

When James first heard the giggling, he did not know why it brought him a feeling of utter bafflement. A second later, he realised it was neither Harry’s nor Lily’s —it did belong to a child, but it was much quieter than his son’s laughter. It was not a continuous sound, either. It came and went, always in a hushed manner.

As silent as he was able to, he peeked into Severus’s room. The boy was dangling a thin string around while their cat chased after it happily. Every time it escaped her claws just at the last second, Severus would let out a tiny giggle. The sight was mesmerizing.

It occurred to James that he had never heard Snape laugh. There had been cruel smirks and snorts, as well as some smiles shared with Lily that had spurred on James’s jealousy when they were teenagers, but little else. He had witnessed a few more instants of shy happiness since Severus had come to live with them. And yet, frowning and scowling were still so natural on his face that not once had James thought about how concerning the lack of laughter truly was.

He stood rooted to the spot, not quite aware that he was openly staring, and it was no surprise when Severus got a glimpse of him and was scared half to death. It had been fascinating to see the child playing without a care in the world and James was sad the moment had been shattered.

He forced a smile, trying to come across as reassuring, but Severus did not move, his shoulders did not relax and his eyes did not stray from the adult at his door. Meanwhile, Mrs Plump had succeeded in catching the string and insisted on pulling it out of the boy’s grasp.

“Is that your shoelace?” James blurted out, instead of thinking twice about his words like he should have.

He had not meant anything by it, but Severus became tenser. He gave the improvised toy a hard, urgent pull and, then, another. Once it was free from the cat’s claws, he hurried to hide it in his pocket. His eyes had not stopped watching James for a second and they revealed nothing. The lad opened his mouth, then closed it before saying a word and his whole body adopted a rigid stance. Still, it took James a moment to realise Severus was waiting.

Feeling stupid and biting back a weary sigh, he tried to come up with a good response. However, his words, unlike Lily’s, always seemed to fall on deaf ears with Severus. Mrs Plump, who had not given up on the game yet, caught James’s attention and an idea struck him. No use talking to the lad when he would only nod and not listen.

James got down on one knee and called the cat, who trotted towards him after a split second of hesitation. He did not look up to see how Severus reacted to his petting her.

“You were having fun with Severus, huh? Honing that hunting instinct. I hope you haven’t bitten on his shoelace too hard, though it wouldn’t really be a problem, y’know —nothing a bit of magic can’t fix. Still, we should get you your own toys, so you don’t damage the lad’s stuff.” At that point, James stopped his silly ramblings and looked up. He adopted a mildly confused tone that matched Severus’s puzzled expression. “Aren’t you going to pet her?”

The boy stood frozen for a moment and then stepped forward as if James had asked him to help out with a very gross potion ingredient —though he might even like that.

Severus lowered himself, not quite next to James, and, very slowly, reached out to run his hand through the cat’s soft fur. He seemed to settle a little when nothing happened, keeping his gaze down. Mrs Plump, of course, welcomed the additional attention and proceeded to headbutt Severus. James let her go.

“I’m not upset,” he said eventually, just because he felt like he should say something.

“I know,” the lad retorted emphatically.

James could hear the scowl in his voice even if a curtain of black hair prevented him from seeing his face. The man could not help the smile that stretched his lips.

“I’m actually happy to see you’re enjoying yourself,” he kept on in an attempt to cause a reaction —any reaction.

Severus shrugged and curled up on himself. James willed himself not to feel disappointed, but failed. Time to leave it at that, he knew. Swiftly, he got to his feet.

“We’ll be having tea in a bit, I’ll give you a shout when it’s ready.”

Severus looked up. His face was blank, but it made James feel guilty about his previous disappointment anyway. He brought back a smile to his face, likely bigger than the situation warranted.

“Trust me, you don’t wanna miss it. We’ve still got those scones Moony brought yesterday, remember?”

The lad nodded, no longer looking quite so wary. Finally, it felt enough.


	7. At the Park

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another prompt for my 100 followers celebration on Tumblr! Apologies to evilbean because I've had this one written since November. If it's any comfort, I think it goes well as a companion to the previous prompt, so this order fits.
> 
> She [asked](https://ailec-12.tumblr.com/post/642407012414734336/thatawfulsnapeboy-asked-for-a-war-free) for a war-free HP universe: James takes Harry and Severus to the park and a woman makes a passing remark about how calm and well behaved his first son is (Harry is running around madly looking adorable) and it makes James thinks on how transparent Sev is trying to be all the time.
> 
> Hope you'll all like this fluffy little thing. I edited it in a rush, so (as always) if you see any typos or anything else that doesn't sound right, don't hesitate to tell me.

It was such a nice sunny day. James was enjoying the warmth on his face from his spot on the green bench. The children were playing nearby in the sandpit, where one could usually find the younger ones. Severus always chose to remain with Harry rather than make friends with the older boys. He was quite protective, to his son’s delight, and having him keep an eye on the toddler made these outings far calmer than they would have been otherwise. Harry was a bit of a handful, unable to stay still for longer than five minutes. On the other hand, Severus was patient and adapted easily to Harry’s rhythm, building castles he did not mind destroying again and again or playing tag among trees and bushes.

Shortly after they had arrived, a woman with twins just a little older than Severus sat down next to James. Her children had already run off towards the slide and she let out a weary sigh. She must have followed his gaze, because she remarked,

“Those two are your boys?”

He was startled by the question and, blinking, looked from the children to the woman and, then, back to the children. Severus had frozen. It was barely noticeable, but James knew he was listening in. He had never stopped to think about it —Lily and he had been improvising ever since Severus was brought to their home. And yet, there was only one possible answer.

“Yeah, they are.”

Harry, fed up with the older boy’s distracted demeanour, tackled him with a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Severus was startled enough that Harry overpowered him for a moment, staying on top of him. At least, he seemed to have forgotten the adults’ conversation.

“Ah, he’s a darling. Your older boy, that is. My son and daughter are the same age and, still, they don’t get along half the time.”

“Um, the age difference might actually help. Severus knows he’s got to be careful with Harry and indulges him a lot. Fights between siblings are to be expected, though,” replied James, thinking about the petty arguments Padfoot and he had got into when they were much younger.

“Indeed, but your son has the patience of a saint! Staying with his baby brother instead of running off to play. It’s lovely.”

James nodded, but something in that compliment did not sit right with him. It was true that Severus never protested going to the park and getting dragged into Harry’s games, even though he enjoyed himself more when he was brewing with Lily or playing chess. Thus, it would not have been strange if he had wandered around the park on his own or stayed in the swings after Harry had got bored of them —even if he had decided to pick a fight with James. Yet, at the park, Severus was meeker than usual and always stayed close by. How these little details kept escaping his notice, James would have loved to know.

He stifled a sigh of his own and focused his attention back on the chatty woman and her small talk.

* * *

James had taken them to an ice-cream parlour after the park, which was brilliant in Severus’s opinion. The man had insisted they both got two scoops each, so he had chosen chocolate and vanilla. Harry was making a mess of his single chocolate scoop and James’s attention was divided between eating and cleaning the toddler’s face. Severus ate his ice cream slowly, careful to take small bites.

“Harry, lad, you’ve got ice cream on your hair. How in Merlin’s name did you manage that?”

Harry giggled in response.

“Sorry, Daddy,” he said, grinning impishly.

The young father rolled his eyes at the obvious lack of remorse, but softened it with a fond smile. His smile stayed even when his gaze turned to Severus, startling him. Then, James winked complicitly and the boy could not help the way the corners of his mouth lifted a little bit. However, his tiny smile did not last long, withering as James cleared his throat a moment later. Before he could even think about it, his mind was trying to come up with ulterior motives for the unexpected treat.

“So, um… You hear what that woman said earlier? On the bench?”

Severus offered a cautious nod. He thought James had failed to notice his eavesdropping, but there was no reason he should get upset about it anyway. The adults had been talking about him and the woman had actually remarked on his good behaviour. His neighbours at Spinner’s End did not usually have such kind words to say about him, so he must have done something right and James should be happy. Desperately, he latched onto that thought.

“Great, so– No, Harry, you can’t use your hands to eat ice cream. With the spoon, like this.” James turned to look at him again, although always keeping an eye on his son. “Well, I was thinking… Perhaps you’d like to play with lads your age? You know you don’t need to stay with Harry all the time.”

“You… don’t want me to play with him?”

He bit his lip right away, cursing how pathetic he sounded. It was not as if he could not understand James’s feelings, but he had been living with them for a while and thought he had learnt what they approved of and what they did not. He had tried really hard to be good so that they would not regret taking him in and he had made sure to go the extra mile at the park so James could not find an excuse to leave him at home.

He had to bit his lip harder to stop it from trembling.

“What? No, no. I really like that you two get along. I imagine it can get boring, though, and you never complain, so… Uh…”

James seemed unable to find the words, so Severus cut in very quickly.

“I like playing with Harry.”

His ears were burning and he took a spoon full of ice cream to his mouth in order to avoid James’s gaze.

“And that’s… That’s brilliant,” the man assured him. “However, if you want to play with the other lads or stay in the swings or the slide while Harry’s in the sandpit, you can, you know that, right? I trust you’ll be careful even if you’re not stuck by my side.”

Severus’s eyes snapped up upon hearing the last sentence. His chest felt hot as well —it was very similar, and also vastly different, from what Lily called ‘a panic attack.’ James was looking back at him in a very strange way.

“Sev not play with me?” came Harry’s sudden interruption, accompanied by a pout and a devastated expression.

Although Severus was very grateful for the distraction, his dry mouth would never have let him answer. Luckily, James reacted fast.

“Of course he’ll play with you, right?” The older boy managed to nod when James looked at him in confirmation. “He may want to make more friends, though, because he’s a big boy and big boys like to play other games sometimes.”

Harry’s pout remained, but he was starting to look more reluctant than rejected.

“Okay, but Sev is my friend and we make castles and play tag! And play with the ‘nitch and the _koffle_ ,” he said, as deadly serious as a child his age could.

“All right,” James agreed with a chuckle, tousling his son’s hair and making his smile wider. “We’d better get moving or we’ll never be in time for dinner.”

As they walked home, with Harry swinging hands between them, Severus could not help bringing the topic back up.

“James?” The man let out a sound that let him know he was listening. Severus gathered up his courage and soldiered on. “Can’t I stay with Harry like always? I don’t… I ain’t good at making friends,” he confessed in a mumble.

In fact, he had no clue why Harry even liked him —not that he could bring himself to ask that.

James did not answer right away, but shot him a long look.

“Of course you can, it was just a suggestion. I don’t want you to stop playing with him and neither does our little terror. I just think… It could be good for you, y’know? And, anyway, you can’t get any good at making friends if you don’t make a few tries first. Besides, you’ve heard Harry, you’ve already made a friend.”

The hot feeling travelled from his chest to his throat, forming a lump that only allowed him to jerk his head up and down a couple of times. He squeezed Harry’s hand and the toddler let go of his father’s hold abruptly to ask Severus to give him a piggyback ride.

“I don’t mind,” he said to James, because the man had sounded worried _for_ him. And, as he crouched down to calm Harry’s excited shouting, he found he really didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MouseInTheCastle drew [James, Sev and Harry stopping for ice cream](https://mouseinthecastle.tumblr.com/post/642828499257802752/the-latest-installment-of-ailec-12-s-a). It's the cutest thing ever, make sure you check it out!
> 
> Because I know you must be wondering, I've been (slowly) working on _House Potter_ lately. Thanks for your patience and support, they're truly appreciated!


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